Hello everyone,

YJew.com recently turned 1 year, and for the most part, it has been a project that has been put on ice ever since its launch… but I am back at it again with exciting news ahead!

I’ve always meant to write a mission statement to be published onto the site, but never got around to it. In brief, YJew.com was created as an alternative to high cost dating websites. We don’t need another monthly expense that can quite often average more than a cellular phone bill. YJew.com does not create fake profiles to create fictitious site activity unlike most others. We also have a strict SPAM policy… we simply do NOT allow it, or stand for it. Those created by spammers are deleted. The site will remain free, and work will be done on it on my free time, and hopefully once it picks up, the advertising revenue will help make it a self sustaining website.

With that said, it was always my idea to make this site a community effort, and eventually community run. And so, I believe that with some work, YJew.com can become the premier destination for Jewish singles of all ages to network, date, and hopefully find their soul mate, if not, at least another friend.

I would like to rally you all to spread the word about YJew.com. On that same token, I also welcome all your suggestions, comments, and dislikes. Since I got back to working on YJew.com, now is a good time for your feedback!

I am also looking to involve those that may be interested in joining the YJew.com team to write on our blog. One of YJew.com’s objective is to connect to its Jewish members of all affiliations and ages, through resourceful, suggestive, witty and creative writing.

A newsletter will be sent out every now and then to keep you all up to date with YJew.com’s progress.

As far as recent updates, one of the most noticeable changes will be the new look of YJew.com, which I am sure has a lot of quirks, but is also less childish than the original one. Most of the under-the-hood updates are mostly to target those that abused the system by sending SPAM to our members. So from now on, new members will have to be approved before they can send out emails or winks. The same goes for members updating their profile. There will be a 24-48 hour timeframe before your profile gets re-approved to ensure the safety and experience of our members.

A few other features are in the works… and that includes:

• Upgrades to the backend to put it up to par with other dating websites
• Advanced member search
• Member created Question & Answer

That is all for now. I wish you all a good week, and hopefully a great summer if my next newsletter does not reach you before your departure

Thank you all,

YJew.com

Is it really that important?

Faith plays a major role in a relationship, and more so, when one or both partners belong to the Jewish faith. Just like other major world religions, the Judaism faith has a set of strict religious tenets governing dating and marital relationship that may or may not be fully understood by all Jewish singles and Jewish dating couples.

By and large, dating or marital relationships between Jewish singles are rather smoother when both partners have some knowledge about the role that faith plays in their relationship. However, a non-Jewish dating partner may find faith and other Jewish religious customs and traditions concerning such relationships rather confusing, if not intimidating. This is one reason why senior Jewish clerics and orthodoxy frown upon interfaith marriages involving Jews and non-Jews.

For Jewish and interfaith couples to understand the role that faith plays in a relationship, it is important for them to first learn about some basic Jewish religious laws that apply to dating and marital relationships between mature Jewish adults.

Physical contact

Practicing Jewish singles, and non-Jews in a dating or romantic relationship with a Jew, must know that Jewish law forbids physical contact i.e. “touching” (referred to as “negiah” in Hebrew) between a man and a woman before marriage. Some social practices prohibited by Jewish law, and which may appear alien to some, include goodnight kissing, social dancing, and even holding hands.

Jewish law goes on to specify that a woman is “untouchable” insofar as any form of physical contact or relations with men, as soon as she begins menstruating, and until marriage. Intimacy and other physical relations are only permitted with a partner following marriage.

Marriageable age

Although the minimum marriageable age specified by Jewish law is 12 years for girls and 13 for boys, the Talmud advises men to marry between the ages of 18 and 24 years.

The Kiddushin

This can be translated as a ‘betrothal’ ceremony, or what most people consider today as an ‘engagement’. The Kiddushin is part of a 2-stage marital process between Jewish singles that takes place prior to marriage. During this process, the woman accepts money (usually in the form of a wedding ring); the pre-nuptial contract (Ketubah); or sexual relations – the 3 conditions that govern the “acquiring” of a woman in marriage.

The Nisuin

This is the final stage of the marital process and takes effect as soon as the wife is brought home by the husband to start their marital life together.

In early times, approximately a year separated the Kiddushin and Nisuin ceremonies. However, in view of some potential risks owing to separation over a long period of time, e.g. a change of mind by either partner, both ceremonies are now performed together.

Faith has, and always will play a major role in Jewish dating and pre-marital relationships. After all, if it has survived for over 3,500 years, all devout and committed Jews can rest assured that it will continue to enrich their lives and relationships for eons to come.

In Yiddish, the word “Bashert” means ‘perfect match’, but is commonly referred to as one’s ‘soul mate’. However, being a microscopic community when compared to the populations of other major faiths, finding a Bashert, especially among the Jewish Diaspora, can be rather difficult.

While Jewish singles living in close-knit communities of large cities and urban areas do not face dating problems, rural Jewish communities with little or no access to synagogues or other Jews, usually do. This is precisely where online Jewish dating services can be one, if not the only, way for Jewish singles to meet and interact with other Jews.

Parental influence and faith

As an integral part of their upbringing, most Jewish children, particularly those of orthodox Jews, are ingrained with the importance of choosing dating and marital partners within their faith by their parents. The objective is to make their children realize the sacred responsibility of being practicing Jews, and the importance of marrying a person who shares the Judaism faith, in order to ensure that it (Judaism) is passed on to the next generation.

Drawbacks of matchmaking

Jewish dating problems are compounded by the fact that outside Israel, the Jewish Diaspora is microscopic in size resulting in extremely limited opportunities for Jewish singles to meet other members of the faith. In view of this, Jewish singles have either relied on Jewish personals in newspaper columns to find dating/marital partners, or the matchmaking efforts exerted by the local rabbi, family members, relatives, and close friends. However, the main drawback of matchmaking is the extremely small number of prospective dating or marital partners that can be contacted. Moreover, those available may not practice the same form of Judaism as you do.

The benefits of online dating

As opposed to matchmaking, online Jewish dating services have global reach and presence, and can connect you to thousands of prospective Jewish dating/marital partners. Today, Jewish singles have the luxury of selecting from numerous online Jewish dating services, the largest ones being in the United States. Membership runs into the millions, so there are far better chances of finding your life partner rather than relying on matchmaking or insignificant, Jewish personals inserted in newspapers. The process is simple. You simply sign up; post a personal profile with specific information about you; not forgetting to upload your recent picture. Then sit back and take a closer look at other members’ profiles and contact the ones that seem attractive to you. Who knows, while you wait, other members will be viewing your information … and your Jewish love (Bashert) could be just a click away.

What’s more, most online Jewish dating sites have chat boards via which you can interact with a large number of Jewish singles in a friendly and informal manner. If you’re in luck’s way, chances are, you may even meet your soul mate.

One thing’s for sure, by availing an online Jewish dating service, you won’t need to sing out loud – “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match” … remember that catchy song in the famous hit film Fiddler on the roof?

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